By Shenelle Ball-Green Host of It’s Been a Journey Podcast
Forgiveness is one of the most transformative yet challenging acts we can choose. It’s not just about letting someone else off the hook — it’s about freeing ourselves from the emotional and spiritual chains of resentment. In this post, inspired by my conversation with Apostle Charlie Saunders from The Flow Ministry on It’s Been a Journey, we explore what true forgiveness looks like, the signs of unforgiveness, and how holding onto pain can affect every area of our lives.
What True Forgiveness Means
Forgiveness is more than simply saying, “I forgive you.” It involves releasing the offense completely and refusing to let it define your emotions, thoughts, or future. It’s a conscious decision to let go of bitterness, trusting God to heal the wounds and restore your peace.
10 Signs You Might Be Holding Onto Un-forgiveness
- Bitterness and Resentment – Replaying past offenses with anger or frustration.
- Avoidance of the Offender – Steering clear of the person who caused harm.
- Frequent Dwelling on the Hurt – Constantly revisiting the pain in your thoughts or conversations.
- Quickness to Anger – Reacting sharply when reminded of the offense.
- Desire for Revenge or Retaliation – Secretly or openly wanting the offender to suffer.
- Difficulty Trusting Others – Letting past pain block new relationships.
- Lack of Empathy or Compassion – Being unable to understand or care about the offender’s perspective.
- Physical or Emotional Distress – Experiencing anxiety, headaches, or depression tied to unresolved pain.
- Criticism or Judgment – Speaking negatively about the person repeatedly.
- Unwillingness to Reconcile – Refusing to even consider steps toward healing.
The Cost of Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness can damage us emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Emotionally, it fuels stress, anxiety, and even depression. Physically, it can manifest as headaches, fatigue, high blood pressure, and weakened immunity. Spiritually, it creates distance between us and God, hindering prayer and blocking blessings. Left unchecked, unforgiveness can also affect relationships, cloud decision-making, and even influence future generations.
Choosing Freedom
Forgiveness isn’t always easy, but it is necessary for lasting peace. Scripture reminds us in Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Releasing resentment is a gift to your soul — it restores your connection to God, opens your heart to joy, and sets you free. Watch full episode on YouTube.
You don’t have to live chained to the past. Forgiveness is a step of faith that leads to healing, peace, and restored relationships. Whether you’re forgiving someone else or even yourself, know that you’re making room for God’s grace to work in your life.
If this message resonated with you, I encourage you to listen to the full episode of It’s Been a Journey with Apostle Charlie Saunders. Share this post with someone who needs to hear it, and start the conversation about the power of forgiveness. Let’s walk together toward healing and freedom.